Road Trip, Birthday and Anniversary without John and Hebrews

I have been in a bad cycle of Migraines and depression lately. It has really had a hold on me. I am supposed to be changing meds again this next week (we were waiting on some medical financial aid as the RX is $700). I know that when I get to the gym regularly, doing cardio, strength training and yoga, I feel much better, but the health issues often keep me away. I have a trainer now and just started using the Bodybugg system, so hopefully, there will be more motivation there.
I am stuck in a bit of a rut- okay something closer to a pit..:) (Pastor Tom once said that the only difference between a rut and a grave is how long you stay there...)I don't want to stay here any longer than necessary.
I am starting to formulate some ideas of change-
1. Going on a road trip through CA to see family and friends culminating in Southern Oregon.
2. Figuring out new ways to celebrate my birthday with out John. Glen Ivy, girls?
3. Praying about being involved in the Malawi trip in June (which will thankfully fall during the 1st wedding anniversary without John).
4. Taking a trip with an old friend in July.
5. Maybe, just maybe, making a life decision to teach for a year in South Korea (Seoul) at a Christian International School. They are looking for both a middle school and high school english teacher. I am praying for wisdom on these decisions and would love your prayers and insights (especially on the overseas teaching idea...)
So, what am I asking? Please pray, of course. But of more tangible help to me right now would be calls/fb posts or emails about your thoughts about some of these issues. I am feeling very isolated right now and I know I haven't reached out as much as I should have; nevertheless I am asking those of you who feel led to reach out to me in this time of large decision making and just be a sounding board or a companion. I don't expect others to fix my problems or come up with the perfect solution for my future, but I do know that the more I speak to people one on one and share my heart (thanks again for the conversation after church Bobby), the more clearly I can see what my options look like and how to start pursuing them. In other words, if God brings me to your mind, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me- I have had some of the most uplifting and helpful conversations just because someone contacted me when God laid me on their heart.
And yes, God has been convicting me about putting out my hand for help. Asking to spend time with people when I'm lonely, calling when I'm plagued by graphic thoughts, and seeking out companionship to take my eyes off myself.
I'm involved in a Christian online support group for survivors of suicide and this was posted the other day. It gave me more hope and I pray it does the same for you.


We Can’t … but God Can!

Why things happen as they do
we do not always know,
And we cannot always fathom
why our spirits sink so low.
We flounder in our dark distress,
we're wavering and unstable,
But when we’re most inadequate
the Lord God’s always able.
For though we are incapable,
God’s powerful and great,
And there’s no darkness of the mind
that God can’t penetrate.

All that is required of us
whenever things go wrong
Is to trust in God implicitly
with a faith that’s deep and strong,
And while He may not instantly
unravel all the strands
Of the tangled thoughts that trouble us,
He completely understands
And in this time, if we have Faith,
He will gradually restore
The brightness to our spirit
That we’ve been longing for.
So remember, there’s no cloud too dark
For God’s light to penetrate
If we keep on believing
And have Faith Enough to Wait!
~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:15,16

Take good care of each other and have a blessed day.

John's Tree Dedication

On April 11th John will have been with his Savior for 6 months. On April 18th at 1 pm we will be dedicating a tree and plaque in his name at the Memorial Grove at Hesperia Lakes. We would be honored if his family and friends would join with us in this time of dedication and remembrance.
Because music was so important to John nothing would please us more than that you bring your instruments and voice and that we play and sing praises to God our Father in John’s memory or maybe even a silly “inside” song. If you have a memory you would like to share I know we would all be blessed by it.
This will be an informal gathering so please bring along your chairs and pray for good weather.
If you'd like to bring some munchies or drinks, go ahed, but call me first so we don't have 15 bags of chips.
Directions. Main Street east to Lake Arrowhead Road. Go about 1½ mi to the Hesperia Lakes parking lot south of the lake where the little store is. Follow the road around to the back of the park area and turn left. The memorial grove is to your left. There should be plenty of parking in the area. Please help us get the word out. Thanks, Cris and John's Mom.
Please be sure to bring a chair/blanket and any instruments /voices you might want to share.I hope this will continue the healing for all of us. please pass the word to those non FB folks you know who loved John. Please continue to pray for healing as we dedicate this tree (and say good bye again